ha. sneaky you. intriguing...def a bare bones verse...i wonder what you started with?
Reading this makes me want to write something tight like that. Very skillfully done.
I think you could cutt this down to one short line ...
I think, that for these purposes, you may be right. "I steal in through the gate" does say an awful lot.
now that is edited down to its essence, yet says enough for us to get the mind going..smiles
Very concise and your view words create an aura for the story behind it--a moment.>KB
He, he, he . . . have to wonder about the original.
The imagination runs wild and faster than our feet! Wonderful dear!
now that is an edit... hmmm, I wonder what will happen
I think the first line is important as it sets the scene far more than just the second line alone. What you are "stealing into" is important for "mood". The brevity here is unique and fun.
Deep peace of the running wave to you.Deep peace of the flowing air to you.Deep peace of the quiet earth to you.Deep peace of the shining stars to you.Deep peace of the gentle night to you.Moon and stars pour their healing light on you