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Friday, 14 February 2014

14 february

 the love affair



they told her she needed more drive
to make it in this life you had to be on the right side
so she worked all day and lay sleepless at night
and then she realized that they had lied
they kept her slaving for less than minimum wage
but at the end of the week there was nothing to be saved
she paid out everything she had ever made
and the hardships of her life began to show in her face
she started school once to become a nurse
but that was before she became involved with the church
and now things were worse
all they had done was empty her purse
most days she just wished that she could go back
but I guess that's that...


dverse
drive, side, night, lied, wage, saved, made, face, nurse, church, worse, purse, back, that.

20 comments:

  1. Oh that is sad but I have heard and seen that before. Hug B

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  2. i enjoyed my visit today. you have a great day!! big big hugs. Happy <3 Day!! ( :

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  3. -chuckle- Thank you for a very interesting little poem. Very interesting. "...before she became involved with the church and now things were worse all they had done was empty her purse"

    Are you *allowed* to post such, in Blog Land????????????????? ,-) ,-) ,-)

    And a Happy Valentine's Day to you!
    Gentle hugs,
    Tessa~

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    Replies
    1. Sadly, Tessa, there are churches like that. One only needs to think back to the various televangelist scandals ...

      On the plus side, there are lots of churches and other spiritual and secular organisations that do lots of good work.

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  4. Cool incorporation of the words, if only we could go back.

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  5. ugh. what a story eh? telling you to stay on the right side and then leaving you to live on a subsistence...using you for their work, but not caring...control...ugh

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  6. Some "love' affairs are like that. Beware!!

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  7. nicely written and I especially like the line 'and that was before she became involved with...' I have many a personal testament that this situation can indeed happen.

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  8. Very well worked with the rhymes; a different kind of love but, sadly, the same disappointment ...

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  9. ugh...sad when someone works so hard and cannot make a living and the worst thing are the shattered dreams i think - i wish she had been able to finish that school...

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  10. very interesting poem; happy Valentine's Day :)

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  11. Really sad, when churches are set to exploit the people that need most... and working for minimum wage certainly means a lot of chattered dreams.

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  12. I like the naturalness of this poem. It flows easily line to line, an effortless cascade of story until the end line and, like me, you didn't have an end word to give it punch, drive it home so to speak. For your own purposes, I would rewrite the last line..I did. Ending the poem on a relative pronoun seemed weak to me unless you were "driving" to that word usage from the beginning. Otherwise I think this piece is brilliant!

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    Replies
    1. thank you beachanny. I like the input. I had to use the specific words at the end of the poem in order to follow the prompt.

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  13. Hello my dear
    This poem make me think a lot. Thank you for that!
    Warm and peaceful hugs from
    JetteMajken

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  14. well played - the story fits the word selection perfectly ~

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  15. A sad tale to be sure, effectively told. Well done. Thank you.

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Deep peace of the running wave to you.
Deep peace of the flowing air to you.
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you.
Deep peace of the shining stars to you.
Deep peace of the gentle night to you.
Moon and stars pour their healing light on you

peace blogger

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